Sari-Saring Pinoy Dyoks


Weak in math

Badong - Mayaman na tayo, marami tayong nakulimbat sa bangko.
Bitoy - Magkano ang nahold-up natin?
Badong - Mahina ako sa math, alamin na lang natin sa TV Patrol bukas.

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Priestly needs

Damian - Father, bat may nakasampay na mga damit pambabae sa likod ng
kumbento? May chicks kayo noh?
Priest - Hoy, tumigil ka Damian! Sa kuripot nyong mag-abuloy sa
simbahan tumatanggap na ako ng labada ngayon.

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Getting even

Jim was on the balcony of his second storey condominium unit when he saw a
man waving at him to come down. Thinking it was an old acquaintance he
sprinted downstairs to meet the man who, it turned out, was a stranger who
was panhandling in the street.

Jim - What did you wave me down for?
Man - Can you spare me some change for a cup of coffee?
Jim - Come with me upstairs.

When the two reached the second storey of the condominium, Jim turned to
the guy and said, "Sorry, I neither have change, nor a cup of coffee."

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First timer

Bagong salta sa Manila si Ambo atfirst time na nag-taxi. Pag-upo sa taxi ay
sampung piso agad ang unang patak ng metro. Napatayo siya upang kunin ang
pitaka sa likurang bulsa at tingnan kung may sapat siyang pera. Naging
dalawang piso naman ang sumunod na patak ng metro. Napansin ng driver na
nakatayo pa rin si Ambo.

Driver - Sir, upo muna kayo at malayo pang biyahe natin.
Ambo - E, sampung piso ang patak ng metro pagnakaupo at dalawang piso
lang pagnakatayo. Tatayo na lang ako para makatipid.

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Ways of the politicians

Question - How many congressmen would it take to change a light bulb at
the Congress?
Answer - Two. One to hold the light bulb, and two to hold and rotate the
ladder.

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The weather is fine

Bush - How's the weather in Manila?
Erap - Much better now. Before it rained every day but last week
it rained only twice.
Bush - Yeah?
Erap - Yes, the first was from Monday to Wednesday, and the second
was from Friday to Sunday.

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Risky surgery

Husband - Honey, kundi ako makaligtas sa surgery ko bukas ikaw na
ang bahala sa mga anak natin. Wag mo silang pababayaan.
Wife - Sus, tumigil ka. Wala pa akong nabalitaang namatay sa tuli. :